Missing

When I looked back my freshmen life, I explore and remember my ordinary life through blogs. However, since we aren't required to keep daily journals anymore, I stop recording my life because I can't keep a habit of writing daily. Instantly, I feel that my life becomes empty and miss the days when I keep journals and record my life. I feel that my life was colorful, splendid, more importantly, substantial. I shouldn't feel lost since I get more leisure. But I am. I am eager to jot down my feelings and keep a record. However, when the precious moment passes, I no longer feel so. And I loss a chance to beautify my life. My life becomes a sheet of white paper, dull and insipid, lacking iridescent colors. It's ironic that writing daily journals used to be a tedious job, yet I miss it so much that I express my nostalgic emotions through blogs. In conclusion, I hope that the paper can become colorful and gorgeous.

Irony

I'm undoubtedly an extremist. An unreasonable extremist. I often hated people I was interested in after I had no feelings. I would avoid contacts with them since they merely recalled memories I rather forget. Or that I was ashamed of myself for falling. Why did I become a moony girl? I loathed myself for smiling and worrying in the meanwhile, which was indeed excruciating. Moreover, I abhorred people who ruined my life, interfered my thoughts, and occupied my mind. Getting rid of those was necessary to focus on my work. However, I shouldn't act as an extremist. Though those people disrupted my peaceful life and carefree pace of life, I shouldn't hate them after all. They were fireworks in my life, splendid and glorious, yet fading slowly when time elapsed. Eventually, I would forget as though they were strangers. I've dreamed about guys, yet I never took them seriously because I understood my job was a student. I always either immersed in my own world of fictional characters or pursued guys in my real life, which were opposite circumstances. One existed, yet one imagined. I've never known when could I balance my imagination and real life. And probably never hoped to upset the balance.

Light

Light as a feather, I felt that I could drift with the stream. Light as a bird, I felt that I could soar into the sky. Eventually, I reached the goal. I overcame the difficulties. I learned to be myself. Regaining my steady pace, I could appreciate the beautiful scene. No longer sitting on a rock alone, I raised my head and strode with confidence. No longer blaming myself pathetic, I laughed at my bizarre conducts. Flying over the lofty mountains, I smiled at the minor people on the ground. Carefree, lighthearted, I extended my arms and span in circles. The sky, azure and broad, indicated that I have widened my vision toward the world. Snapshots, moments, mere seconds. I became my new self.

Illusion

I hate how a person influences my life. I hate him for making me smile in my imagination. I hate him for making me dream with satisfaction. I hate him for changing my pace of living. We're so close, yet so far. Empathizing with Angel Clare in Tess of the d'Urbervilles, I realize that I have an impractical, idealistic view of love. The guy I have a crush on exists merely in my imagination. People seem to pursue idealistic love. A beautiful illusion, he occupies my thoughts. Pursuing the beautiful illusion, I have to throw a stone, break the reflection, and ripple the limpid lake. Eventually, I'll wake up from my sweet dream and accept the truth.

Confusion & Life

Ordinary life is bombarded by bizarre imagination. Too much. I learn to never give my heart away. 
1.  Stop romanticizing crushes
2.  Protect my mind
3.  Stay cool 

A quote hovers in my mind. 

“Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.” -By Mark Twain.
I won't wait until the storm passes away, but I will learn to dance in the rain. 

1. Be myself

2. Be brave

3. Love my life